


I only rescue maidens

by LadyMD



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Mutual Pinning, Post-S7, Post-Winterfell Reunion, Pre-Battle for the Dawn, Pre-Jon Snow reveal, Sansa and Eventual Happiness, Sansa-centric, Sexual Content, canon-divergent, unrequited feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-08
Updated: 2017-09-08
Packaged: 2018-12-25 06:09:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12029802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyMD/pseuds/LadyMD
Summary: "He made his bed. She made hers too. And now both of them shared it with neither of them."What if Jaime never closed the door and Sansa asked for something else? And Jon in the hallway, can't look away.Not since the prepared Northern reception of his return with the Dragon Queen’s retinue has Jon been able to talk with his sister Sansa. And now that his duties were fulfilled for the day, he immediately went to seek her out in her chambers, ready to explain, apologize, both, only to find out that the she wasn’t alone. And Jon finds himself privy to seeing the Lady of Winterfell being comforted by her new sworn shield, Jaime Lannister.(Just a smut alternate version of events from my other story "The things we do for love" where Jon watches as Sansa allows Jaime to comfort her and for those who read this before, I've edited all my notes here).





	I only rescue maidens

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The things we do for love](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11996043) by [LadyMD](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyMD/pseuds/LadyMD). 



> Because you all asked for Sansa/Jaime over at my other fic (which is primarily Jonsa as eventual endgame) here is an alternate version of events.

 

> **Jaime Lannister: Brienne, the maid of Tarth. You _are_  still maiden, I hope?  
>  Brienne of Tarth: Yes.  
>  Jaime Lannister: Oh, good. I only rescue maidens.**
> 
> **\- Storm of Swords, Jaime VI**
> 
>  

* * *

 

 

Jon couldn't look away, cursing himself for not leaving the moment he saw that Sansa wasn't alone in her chambers. 

He should've sought her out at once at the first chance, but no, he had to  _wait._

And this was how the gods saw fit to punish him with.

"Lady Sansa," Jaime said in a voice that was painfully too tender and that was all he needed to say for Sansa to lift her eyes to him and what Jon saw shattered him. Even from far away, he knew. From the way her body slouched, her brow furrowed, her lips trembled, her eyes were likely filled with sadness and exhaustion.

He saw Jaime look gutted as well but was shocked once more when Jaime lifted a corner of his mouth into a kind but pained almost wry smile. "I  _know."_

And those two words were enough for Sansa to crumble.

Slowly, it happened, a few silent drops of tears forming then flowing for a few breaths until one choked sob escaped and she was clinging to Jaime in an instant, her hands fisting against his doublet, while her head was bowed against his chest. 

Jaime's eyes were tight and his face stoic as he held her, his right arm wrapped around her trembling back, while his left hand stroked her hair gently. "I know, Lady Stark, I know," he crooned and though he addressed her formally, the title almost felt an endearment and Jon felt like a drowning man gasping for breath, struggling with his footing as the feeling of being replaced started dawning on him, suffocating him. 

_This should've been you._

_This should've been you protecting her from tears._

_This should've been you._

"I can't betray him," she said through gritted teeth in between sobs. 

Jaime said nothing, only held her and after a moment she started speaking again, her voice hoarse from crying and also exhaustion. 

"They all thought I'd betray him. Even Arya. And I'm sure he thought so too. And even if the thought occurred to me, I never, not once, believed I'd actually do it," she continued, her voice sounding firmer and firmer. 

She let out a deep breath then, her knees giving out but Jaime caught her instantly, allowing her to lean on him as they half-knelt on the floor. She loosened her hold and looked down defeated. "I can't betray him...not even if I wanted to. W-which I don't. I never wanted that. I never  _did._ Not once. Not  _ever."_

He saw Jaime grit his teeth and stiffen before he forced himself to relax and stroke Sansa's hair. "The things we do for love," he whispered and Jon saw it again, pain and regret on Jaime's eyes. 

Sansa closed her eyes then and gave the most resigned nod he never expected to see. "Aye."

And Jon almost felt his own knees go out as well as the implication of what he just heard crashed into him. 

Surely he was mistaken? 

Surely she meant something else? 

She couldn't possibly--

He stopped thinking then when he saw Jaime tilt her face once more and he leant down. "Pain doesn't suit you, Lady Stark. I'm doing a bad job at being your sword and shield when you're in pain just the same."

That brought a tiny lift to one corner of Sansa's mouth. 

"Ah. There it is. Well, I'm not completely useless after all," Jaime smiled more genuinely even if his eyes still held some tightness in them.

Both corners turned up now. "You're far from useless, Ser Jaime."

Jaime sighed then and brought out a handkerchief to wipe her tears. "Your pain is a special kind of pain that I know terribly more than well enough," he said bitterly causing Sansa to regard him closely but she averted her eyes as she let him wipe her cheek. 

"Does it get...better?" she asked so softly Jon almost didn't hear.

Jaime sighed. "It gets worse, I'm sorry."

Sansa sighed as well. "I suppose I already knew that."

Sansa didn't see Jaime looking like a burning man then, making him pause from his action. But before Sansa looked up at him, he schooled his features into his usual smirk. "I'm doing a bad job again."

Sansa blinked then a laugh escaped from her. It was just the one and she clamped her mouth right away and Jon was struck dumb from the novelty of it. When was the last time he heard her laugh? And then he soured again that it was  _Jaime Lannister_ who made her laugh and  _him_ the cause of her tears, he knew that now.

"Ah. Now you are only trying to make me feel better. I am truly an ass at this, Lady Stark," Jaime grinned.

Sansa smiled at him more genuinely that Jon felt torn from feeling hatred at the Lannister and tenderness that she could still smile truly. 

Jaime looked at her more seriously then, his eyes resigned as he cupped her face, drawing a gasp from her. 

"I know your pain, Lady Sansa. And I have sworn to protect you from everything that may harm you and that includes the war in your heart and mind. I do not presume to be a substitute or a replacement. But I am at your disposal, my lady. Whatever you ask of me, I'll do it. Whatever it is. May it be... of small comfort or not. I am yours to command.  _Whatever_  it is you need. May it be wrong or not. Whatever it is you  _need_  to ease some of your pain, I will try. No, I  _will_ obey."

Jon held his breath and looked sharply at Sansa then and saw her eyes wide, her mouth hung, and her posture tense as she took in Jaime's words. 

"I know what can make you happy, but you know I can't give you that so ask something else and I'll do my best to give it to you my lady," he vowed.

Sansa looked up at him bewildered but flushed when she understood just what he was offering. 

"I - I shoudn't," Sansa finally said, shame coloring her cheeks and Jon felt like he truly died once more. 

Jaime smirked. "You shouldn't. But you  _can."_

Sansa shook her head and Jon pleaded she go on refusing. "I can't."

"You  _won't._ But you  _can._ " he said firmly. "Lady Sansa," he started. 

She met his eyes then and waited while Jaime went on his frustrated tirade.

"It's not the best idea. It's not even a good idea. But I want you to experience happiness. Even if just a little.  Your pain will not go away that easily and it'll hurt more before it gets better. You did not survive the fires of seven hells just for you to die without - 

"I _am_  happy.I am. My two brothers are alive. Arya is alive. I'm in Winterfell. I'm still alive. I'm  _home,"_ she insisted but it felt more like her trying to convince herself. "It should be enough. It  _is_ enough. More than I could ever hope for." 

Jaime dropped his hand and smiled proudly at her. "And this is why you are better than the rest of us," he breathed. " _Lady_ _Stark_.' 

Sansa smiled grimly at him. 

"Still, whatever it is you need," he insisted. "I know what you went through. I just can't stand that someone with a heart as big as yours would be so bereft of love...and... touch."

 _"Touch?"_ she laughed bitterly. "Love or _touch_ can't save you or anyone."

"But kindness can," Jaime answered just as quick. "I already care for you. And I know it's love you want." 

"Yet you don't love me," Sansa whispered as she turned her back on him. "You can't give me what you don't feel."

Jamie smiled sadly then. "But I can give you something else," he said slowly. "And love can always follow, who knows?"

Sansa shut her eyes and held herself but didn't say anything.

"I know you think about it. Not that. The other thing. I know it weighs on your mind constantly...what he did. And I know from personal experience that its enough to crush a man of everything he believes in anymore."

Sansa looked at him from her shoulder confused. "I thought the queen was devoted to you? Surely she didn't love King Robert. I don't even think she shared her bed-" she stopped, looked away and blushed at her words, embarrassed. 

Jaime sighed. "No. She didn't love the fat fool. But she wasn't as devoted to me as we all thought."

Sansa looked at him once more in shock. 

Jaime nodded grimly. "She hasn't been. Not all along."

Sansa looked at him sadly then and Jon saw her hand clench on her arm. "Cersei told me something once." 

She looked down. "Tears aren't only a woman's weapon," she paused to sigh, "the best one's between your legs."

Jaime made an indignant sound at that and shook his head. "Of course."

While Jon cursed himself for not killing Cersei when he had the chance to. What business did she have to fill Sansa's mind with this poison? And then when he weighed the words he felt a rush of guilt. 

 _Wasn't that what you were trying to -_ he didn't finish that thought. Not when he saw Jaime moving closer to Sansa until finally she turned to face him, looking up at him with doe eyes filled with grief and confusion. 

"Do you regret it then?" she tilted her head to better examine him. 

Jaime closed his eyes for a moment before leaning closer and answering. "I wouldn't be here if I didn't."

Sansa moved her head to the side, breaking their gaze as she held herself tighter. "I know it's wrong...what I feel."

"I get it. What I had with Cersei, I thought I wouldn't trade it for anything. Everything I did, I did for her. No matter who gets destroyed in our wake, I still did it. Nothing mattered to me but her and I thought that as long as she loved me back, it's enough," he said as he looked away too but did not step back. "We knew it was wrong, but it felt too good to matter anyway."

"Then..." Sansa started. "What if I - what if he and I would - you'd tell us how we could..." 

Jaime held her by the arm then and shook his head. "No. I won't let you make the same mistake. You see how our secret destroyed lives? You see how our selfishness left us and others around us? Nothing good would come off it. It won't be worth it, _Sansa_ \- I mean, Lady Stark. It  _won't."_

Tears leaked from her eyes then as she shut them and Jon understood what she was trying to ask of Jaime - trying to ask if they could learn from his mistakes but still be together. The thought that she still hoped wrecked him and tore himself apart because for once, he agreed with the Kingslayer.

Jon hardly cared for what people thought of himself, but what people thought of Sansa mattered greatly to him. He wouldn't allow his love for her destroy her too. He would never ask her to burn in the seven hells with him. He'd burn for the both of them when need be, but he would never drag her with him. 

"But-" Sansa tried but Jaime cupped her cheek and leveled with her. 

"No."

Sansa was sobbing now. "Then I'll never love again." 

Jon almost collapsed as his hands flew to his hair and pulled. He's never seen Sansa look so defeated. And it was because of him.  _Him._ Gods, were there no ends to his crimes against her? 

He saw that Jaime was equally torn up as he was but there was an undercurrent of anger in him. 

Jaime made her face him and looked at her sternly. "You  _will."_

"Jon was...he's the only reason I started...trusting men again," she said slowly crushing Jon once more while Jaime softened.

"He...makes me feel safe... and even if he doesn't feel the same way I know he loves me...as family," her voice barely above a whisper. 

Jaime looked at her intently then and Jon was taken aback from the resolve that was forming in his eyes and once he realized what he was probably going to do, it sent his blood up with rage, his hand going to his pommel.

"My lady, look at me," Jaime demanded. 

Sansa kept her eyes shut.

Jaime brushed her cheek and moved it down to cup her by the back of her neck as he leant closer. "He won't be the last."

Sansa started laughing bitterly then. "Yes. There are many who care for me. As a ward. A friend. A sister...That's true. But...Who could ever _love_ me? I'm a broken girl with scars in my mind and my body. I've been married to my family's traitors." 

" _You_ are the lady of Winterfell, _"_ Jaime practically growled at her.

 "And that's all I'll ever will be to them," she practically yelled back, holding his gaze with a furious look of her own. "Just another title."

She was looking at him breathing heavily. "At least for a while."

Jaime's eyes widened but he didn't say anything. 

Sansa looked away swiftly after letting out a frustrated breath, breaking away from Jaime's hold on her, shutting her eyes tightly before deflating, all fight leaving her. "They'll only want my name. My face may be pleasant but that is all. And once the war is over and Jon marries... I won't even be the Lady of Winterfell anymore. I'll just be his  _sister._ Good for nothing but to be eventually married off to another lord."

Jaime tried to bring her back to look at him as Jon looked on helplessly. This he didn't think into consideration. Marrying at all wasn't even his consideration. Wasn't he clear? He made her his heir. And he would never marry her off without her approval. 

"Lady Stark," Jaime said firmly. 

Sansa looked up at him blankly. 

Jon saw him try to soften his features but he could tell he was barely controlling himself. "Your brother would never do that to you. He wouldn't marry you off. You  _know_ that. He may be many things but your brother is bloody honorable. He wouldn't do that to you. And if he was less a man, he still wouldn't that to you, not when he owes you so much," he said the last part laced with an edge of something. "You are his _heir_. Winterfell would _always_ be your home. I don't need to say this to you. "

Sansa swallowed and shook her head. "You're right. Jon wouldn't..."

Jaime shut his eyes briefly in relief before giving her a smile and taking her face in his hand again. "And my Lady Stark." That made her look up at him. "If you think that only your name or your face is what lords would be begging to lay claim then clearly you do not know yourself."

She looked away. "It's okay. I've made peace with it already. If I will marry, it would be for duty. No one will ever marry me for love."

Jaime scoffed then. "Fuck that."

She gasped and shook her head ready to protest but Jaime placed a finger on her lips to stop her, shaking his head before taking his finger off and pushing her hair back, looking at her tenderly after calming himself. 

"If only you can see yourself the way your people see you, Lady Stark," he searched her eyes. "What's _not_ to love?" 

Sansa looked away and blushed then.

Jaime didn't have it as he made her look up at him, his good hand brushing her cheek. "You are more than your name. And you are more than your face. You think the lords out there are forcing the crown on you just by default?"

Sansa still looked at him not believing.

"If you don't believe me, I'll take you to them. I'll take you to your people. On my journey here all I heard was how the Lady of Winterfell was smart to think of preparing provisions for the people - preparing Winterfell as a safehold. But it goes even before this. The Tyrells didn't have to think of snatching you away. Yes there was political aspect but it was more because you've endeared yourself to them too. Even Littlebitch. He's a sick fuck but you've ensnared him enough to change his plans in a way. And then there's Brienne and Tyrion. They are your top supporters. Even Varys is impressed. And Jon," he paused.

"I heard he went to battle for you," he said slowly.

Sansa shook her head. "No. He went for Rickon."

Jaime snorted. "Very well, he still fought for your home even if it was a losing battle to start."

Jon wanted for the first time, for Sansa to believe in the Kingslayer. Believe in everything he just said including why he went to battle.

"In any case, he left Winterfell in your hands and Winterfell has gained so much from it, everyone with eyes can see and compare what you're doing with whatever the fuck is going on in the South and you're doing all of this despite what happened to you. Something that I know I could've done something to prevent," he released her then. "I should've taken you someplace safe the moment I arrived. I should've listened to Brienne, but I thought you were safest as Tyrion's wife and I couldn't return you to Winterfell."

Sansa said nothing for a while before looking back up at Jaime after one long sigh. "Brienne told me the Queen ordered you to bring her my head...but you refused and sent Brienne with half of my father's sword. So Jaime, you  _did_ try. And for that I'm gra-

"Do not thank me. Not for that failure," Jaime spat at her. 

Sansa flinched and Jaime had to calm himself. 

Jaime knelt before her then and laid his sword down in front of her -  _Widow's Wail_ without the lion pommel that used to embellish it - she let her keep it until the War is over. 

"My service is not much and not enough. My  _life_ won't be enough to make up for how my family fucked yours I won't deny, but as long as I'm breathing, I would serve you. Lady Stark," he looked up at her. "Not only because your mother set me free. Not even for your honorable father who offered clemency to Cersei and our children should Robert have survive and the truth came out. Not only because you are my last chance at honor, but because all my life I've served unworthy kings. It's time I choose a ruler worth dying for and that's you, Lady Stark."

Jon had to suck in his breath, finding that with that admission, he had lost this battle to the Kingslayer. He looked at Sansa then who was looking at Jaime softly before weeping into her hands. 

Why was she so surprised? What has been happening here? Everywhere he looked, everyone had only praises for her yet why didn't she, until now, believe? 

Jaime stood up then and gently pried her hands away from her face and smiled at her. "Come now, my lady. Enough tears. Do you mean to make another Trident?" 

Sansa sniffled and allowed him to wipe her face. "I'm doing a shitty job again. Your people would have me drawn and quartered when they found out I added lines to your pretty face," he sighed. "I overdid it, didn't I?"

Sansa looked at him incredulously then before releasing a laugh. 

Jaime half-grinned. "There she is. I promise not to make any more grand declarations that would render you weeping. Only jokes at my expense."

Sansa frowned then while he laughed. "What? It's the only thing that worked so far. Me admitting how bad I am at shielding you from any hurt." 

She smiled a little then. 

"You look better with a smile, Lady Sansa," he crooned. 

Sansa grabbed his hand then and looked at him. "Sansa."

Jaime stopped. 

"You may call me, _Sansa_ ," she gave him another small smile that twisted Jon in the most excruciating way. 

_He's won her over._

Jaime grinned then and nodded. "Sansa," he tested and Jon hated how smooth it rolled of his tongue. "I've always found your name lovely." 

Jon nearly gave out again when he remembered Sansa teaching him... and yet Jaime must've been doing that all his life. 

"If you insist, then you have to call me Jaime. None of this ser business for I tire of it, to be honest."

Her cheeks reddened. "Jaime." 

And then to Jon's horror, Sansa slowly reached out to touch Jaime's golden one. Tracing it with her fingers and looking at it sadly. "Your hand paid for Brienne's honor." 

Jaime sighed. "It was worth it."

Sansa looked up at him then while she still held the golden hand in one of hers, while her other reached up to touch his face. "You're in pain too." 

Jaime leaned into her touch and closed his eyes and Jon never felt more jealous, remembering that during their short time together from their reunion, it was almost always Sansa who reached out with her touches. He regrets that he should've been more affectionate but he was afraid of touching her. He wanted to give her time and warning...control...so he let her take what she would. 

"I wish you never fell in love with her," Sansa murmured softly.

Jaime's eyes opened and looked at her with fondness before placing his hand on top of hers on his face and keeping it there. "I wish you never fell in love with him as well." 

Sansa laughed drily then. "We're not so different, you and I, aren't we...Jaime?" 

He laughed back and smirked. "Yes, Sansa. So it seems, I know that now, but then again, I was always a slow learner." 

Sansa sucked in a breath at that, shocking both him and Jaime. 

"What? What did I say?"

But Sansa was throwing her head back and laughing, shaking her head. 

Jaime couldn't help but smile back. "What? What's the joke? Don't be cruel."

Sansa stopped laughing then and simply smiled at him with one of her brighter ones that Jon was struck from seeing it now after not having seen it for the longest time. 

"A story for another day," she smirked.

"I'll hold you to it," Jaime nodded before tilting his head and taking her hand off his face but not letting it go. "Do you feel better now?"

Sansa's smile fell. "Some."

Jaime mocked a sigh. "Small steps." 

She nodded. "Aye."

And then Sansa looked at him, really looked at him and all trace of humor was gone, filling with hesitation, before slowly turning to resolve. 

"Jaime?"

Jaime stopped grinning then and looked back at her with concern. "Yes, Sansa?"

She bit her lip, looked away, before looking back up at him once more. "Do you mean it? What you said about...about doing what I...what I wanted?"

Jon's heart pounded against his chest, his head shaking before he even processed he was doing it. 

Jaime clasped her hand tighter then and leant down. "I meant every word. And anything within my power-it's done."

Her eyes shifted again and her cheeks tinged while he saw Jaime swallow. "Anything?" 

He could see Jaime's resolve in his own eyes. "Anything."

Sansa's eyes were like storms but she braced herself and lifted her chin. "I've never... I've been kissed before, but I've never," she faltered and started to withdraw when Jaime leant closer and placed her palm on his chest making her gasp. 

"Men did nothing but take from you," he whispered, his voice laced with anger. 

Sansa looked at him sadly and nodded. 

Jaime swallowed again and didn't break from her gaze as he dropped his arms to the side. "Sansa." He nodded and Jon's knees hit the floor as his ears pounded. 

_This wasn't happening._

"Do you want me to close my eyes?" 

Sansa considered this before she slowly shook her head. "No." 

He smiled at her then and nodded once more. "Come here and take what you want."

Sansa hesitated. 

"It's alright. I want this too," he encouraged and Jon stood straight hand on his sword once more as he saw red.  _How dare he?_

"But it doesn't matter what I want. It's what  _you_ want. Don't be scared. Don't let having power over men frighten you. This is power freely given," he said kindly that Jon stumbled back. He couldn't do anything if Sansa wanted this.

Sansa held back a sob, he knew, but he watched as she took a deep breath and towered over Jaime who was still kneeling in front of her, waiting. 

And then slowly, she used one hand to trace the side of Jaime's face, while the other held the other side gently, her eyes never leaving Jaime's. And in one quick movement, Jon watched as Sansa closed her eyes and kissed Jaime. 

Sansa kissed Jaime.

He felt worse than being plunged into the ice water at what he was seeing. 

It was short.

And it looked  _sweet._

Soft, tender, and quick like a flutter of a butterfly's wing as she withdrew at once but kept her hand on Jaime's face. 

Jaime smiled at her and slowly Sansa smiled back. 

Her look was a question once more that Jaime answered with a nod and once again, Sansa kissed him, pressing longer, her hands trembling, then she withdrew a hair's breath away from Jaime's lips before taking his lips again, slanting them to fit his and Jon saw Jaime's good hand twitching at his sides -  _he was restraining himself._

And why wouldn't he? 

Why wouldn't he desire her now?

Jon could barely stand it. 

_Stop._

He wanted to yell.

_Stop it now._

_That's enough._

But he no longer held that right, not when it was Sansa who was taking the lead. 

Sansa pulled away, her breathing hastening as she whispered, "Kiss me ba-

And she was cut off by Jaime's lips pressing back, encouraging, not demanding and Jon was quickly losing his mind as Sansa took his hand and placed it on her face. 

Jaime stood then, not breaking their kiss, and was the one leaning down to meet her, placing her hands on his shoulders - and when Sansa wrapped them fully around his neck and reached up on her toes, Jaime wrapped his arms around her waist and dipped down to meet her instead. 

Jon watched as they kissed. Watched and watched until they pulled apart, both breathing heavily while Jon's heart broke when he saw the heat in both their eyes that wasn't there before. 

They were two heart broken people who tried to do their duties. How could he not how this would draw them together? 

Sansa was flushed and panting but still unsure. "Was that...was that good?"

He could see Jaime melt at that as he pulled Sansa closer. "As beautiful as you." 

"Jaime?" 

"Sansa?"

"I...I've only known... it's only -" shame filled her and Jaime had none of it. 

"Everything you thought you knew is shit. It wasn't supposed to be that way. Not at all. You hear me? What you went through was torture. Nothing more. It's not like that," Jaime held her face firmly. 

"Then show me."

Jon had to suppress his gasp and he could tell Jaime was taken aback too. 

"Show me how it's supposed to be," Sansa repeated. 

"Sansa," Jaime swallowed. "Do you know what you're asking?"

"Do you not want to? Do I need to command it?" Sansa's brows met as he looked at him seriously. 

Jaime looked torn but Jon could see that he wanted it but he knew he didn't want to take advantage. 

"Did you not offer this earlier?" Sansa pressed.

"I did but not...I never expected you'd want it-

"Now?" Sansa raised a brow before sliding her hand down his chest. "Jaime. I'm asking."

"Sansa."

"Show me," Sansa started kissing his covered chest then until she reached his neck making him groan. "Show me," she repeated on his skin while tears leaked. "Show me how I should've been touched." 

Jaime looked truly torn then. 

Sansa made him look at her then. "Show me how it can be good."

"Then you should stop crying," Jaime finally relented as he pulled her against him. 

Sansa nodded at him and leaned up to kiss him once more and this time Jaime did not hesitate to kiss her back and kiss her how he wanted to. 

Jon saw Sansa shyly open her mouth to him and saw how Jaime's tongue slowly probed her mouth, coaxing hers to do the same. He felt like a burning man as he heard her mewls and their moans and groans as they explored each other's mouths and though Sansa's hands were gentle and shy, she started to run them over Jaime's arms that stayed put around her waist never venturing away. 

Jon knew then that no matter how much he wanted to kill him, he knew from that action that Jaime wouldn't hurt her or force her. 

And then Sansa started clawing at Jaime's armor and gave a frustrated huff when she couldn't undo them. Jaime noticed and chuckled, pulling back but kept kissing the side of her face and her neck while he pulled Sansa's hands away. 

"Allow me." 

He stood back then and kept his eyes on Sansa as he started undressing in front of her. 

Sansa watched and Jon saw her eyes were dark and clouded as she watched this man submit to her. 

And then there was only his tunic and his breeches. 

He watched Sansa intently, looking for any sign of her backing off but she remained as she were and waited. 

He pulled his tunic off then and Jon saw how Sansa's eyes raked over her blonde knight's naked torso, marbled and chiseled with wear and some scars from battles and fights adorned his skin. 

Jon watched as they searched each other's faces for any last sign of retreat but Jon had all but died once more when Sansa turned around and swept her hair around her shoulders before nodding at Jaime shyly. 

Jaime swallowed once more and walked closer, looked at her with permission once more and once granted, he slowly and carefully undid her laces.

So achingly slowly he did it as Jon stood paralyzed in the shadows. 

Until all was left was Sansa in her shift, stockings, and her chain necklace. 

Sansa turned around then and the firelight did nothing to hide the perfection that was her figure that even Jaime had to gasp. 

Sansa then started to unravel her chain when Jaime stopped her hands. 

"Keep your weapon on. Not because I'll hurt you," he said and Sansa's breath caught at the implication. 

_It's so you can hurt me if you need to._

"Just say the word and we'll stop. At any time, just say it and I will."

Sansa looked at him for a beat before wrapping her arms around his neck again. "I want you to keep going." 

His hand and his other arm went to her waist. "As my lady commands." 

"Jaime, wait-"

He dropped his hold at once. 

"I'm not...I'm not ready to...disrobe all the way. Is that...is that...okay?" 

Jaime held her face tenderly and lifted her chin up. "Why wouldn't it be okay?" 

She smiled then and tilted her face to be kissed once more and he all but complied. 

This time their kiss was heated and more passionate, with Jaime's hand in her hair. 

When they pulled apart, Sansa rested her head on Jaime's and whispered. "Take me to bed." 

_No._

_No!_

_NO!_

But it was too late. 

Jon watch Jaime chuckle and grin at her before swooping her in his arms and laying her gently on the bed, following right after, taking the moment to watch her below him, tracing her face as he smiled so tenderly. 

"You are so beautiful," he heard him say reverently. "The most beautiful maiden in the world." 

Sansa looked away then but was blushing. "I am not a maiden. Not anymore." 

"What nonsense! Of course you are," he looked down at her devilishly then. "You, my lady, have never been made love to which is a grievous crime of the highest rank. And the moment you reach your peak, which I mean to give you is the only moment you can say you are no longer a maiden but a woman in full bloom."

Sansa gasped and whimpered. 

Jaime surged over her but kept his weight on his arms, his hand on her face. "Do you trust me? Sansa?"

Sansa looked up at him then adoringly "I trust you Jaime."

"So do you believe me now when I say you are a maiden?" 

She was flushed as her hair then but she gave a tiny nod. "Yes."

Jaime kissed the tip of her nose then as he adjusted his arm to brace a bit on top of her head where his hand could still graze her hair that spilled like fire on the pillow. "Good. Because I only rescue maidens."

Sansa giggled then and he chuckled back. 

He drew back slightly to press his forehead against hers. "I promise to only be gentle. We don't have to do everything tonight."

Sansa blinked up at him. "What do you mean?"

"There are many ways, my sweet girl, many things I can show you. We're going to take it as slow as you need but it'll all be good, I promise." 

Sansa swallowed before she looked at him with complete trust then nodded her ascent. 

Jaime grinned once more before he started kissing her once more. 

Sansa responded just as eagerly, her hands stroking his arms as she kissed back. 

Jaime then left her mouth to trail kisses down her jaw, down her neck, her collar...

Down.

Down.

Down.

Between her breast over her shift but always with his eyes asking permission and being granted.

He reached her stomach.

He licked her belly button earning a startled moan that made him chuckle. 

He dipped again and saw Sansa arch up, her hands fisting the sheets as she bit her lip.

Down, down, down he continued and Jon couldn't tear his eyes off or move a single muscle.

This was a dream.

No.

This was a nightmare.

No.

This was his punishment.

He watched as Jaime's hand slid so gently higher and higher up her thigh, disappearing under her shift, as his mouth went lower. He stopped suddenly while Sansa shook her head and Jon hoped that this was where it ends. 

But it didn't.

With an understanding smile, Jaime leant back and pulled the furs over their bodies and went back to kissing her, his hand sliding from her face to her neck then lower but always with his eyes asking for permission.

Jon watched as Sansa nodded, her breathing erratic, her skin flushed as she writhed underneath Jaime who was touching her sides over the fabric, his hand coming closer and closer from below her ribs and upwards while he kissed and sucked at her long pale neck, his eyes filled with concentration as they trained on her reactions. 

He watched as she nodded again and Jon knew his nails were drawing blood from the way he clenched his fists -  _tighter_ when she made a particularly drawn out moan as the Kingslayer mouthed a breast while he palmed the other. 

Why was he still watching?

He knew he shouldn't. 

He knew he should walk away and leave them.

But Jon was a glutton for punishment when it came to Sansa. 

He didn't mean to but he betrayed her. 

He deserved all the pain he was feeling. 

He deserved to see what his decision did.

They were both groaning now while the Kingslayer kept murmuring praises and sweet nothings while he touched her. 

Jon knew he was giving his best in pleasing her, focusing solely on her own pleasure. 

And he could also see the Kingslayer's desire as he rubbed against the mattress while he continued his careful ministrations. 

Jon's blood still boiled that it was the Kingslayer. If it was another man - someone else - maybe he could stomach it but here was the Kingslayer after everything his family did to destroy theirs... why does he get to have her? 

Just because he left his  _sister_ for her and suddenly he was the hero? 

Jon never wanted to kill someone so badly but for what reason? 

He could think of noble ones, brotherly ones, a lot of other reasons but his guilt would only show him what it really was -  _jealousy._

And it wasn't as if he could do anything. 

This was Sansa's choice.

He shut his eyes and leant against the wall then and slid down, biting into his fists to stop from sobbing loudly while behind him the sounds of her moans and his groans filled his ears. 

He wanted to bang his head against the wall but just as he was about to, his head snapped up when he heard Sansa gasp loudly. 

"Jaime!"

He didn't think but peered inside in an instant and was knocked back down at what he saw. 

The furs were pulled away revealing Jamie's head looking up at her from the apex of her thighs, one hand curled around her exposed milky flesh while Sansa was propped on her elbows looking down at him in confusion and shock. 

"What are you doing?"

Jaime, grinned up at her smugly. "Kissing you?"

Sansa flushed some more. "T-there?"

As if to prove his point, not breaking his gaze, he kissed her inner thigh earning another gasp. "Here...there... and yes,  _there."_

"It's-it's not...it's not proper-

Jaime chuckled. "It is if it's properly done," he smirked. "If you don't want me to, I'll stop. But remember my promise, Sansa. Only good things."

"Why would," she stopped too embarrassed. 

Jaime caressed her thigh and Jon saw her shiver and he knew it wasn't from the cold. "Why would I want to? Was that your question?"

Sansa nodded shyly. 

"Because I want you to feel what it feels like to be worshipped," he said gruffly. 

Sansa swallowed but she was still unsure. 

Jaime sighed, bent down and kissed her thighs before leaning up and bringing her shift down and kissing his way up to her face. "Not tonight then. My shy beautiful girl. No matter. There are other ways." 

Sansa relaxed into his kiss while her hands shakily traced his arms once more. Jaime chuckled once and crooned in her ear and back down to her skin. "Touch me all you want. Don't be shy. You can even dig your nails in or pull my hair. Whatever you want." He grabbed at one of her hands then and placed them over his back. And Jon saw the way Sansa brought her other hand on the other side and gently stroked and Jon could just imagine how soft her fingers were and how they must burn through the Kingslayer's skin. 

"May I touch you, Sansa?" Jon heard him whisper, his voice getting rough and deep. 

Sansa looked at him and with a nod she said yes. "Please." 

Jaime groaned then. "Do not beg. You're not in that position.  _I'm_ the one submitting." 

Sansa looked up at him seriously then. "Touch me, Jaime. I order you to touch me."

Jaime smiled unto her skin and nodded. "As my lady commands," and Jon watched as his hand slid from her stomach then down to her thighs, stroking up inch by inch as he ravaged her neck once more, likely building the anticipation. 

Before his hand disappeared under her shift, he claimed her lips, capturing the breathy moan as he knew he touched her  _there._

Jaime smiled into their kiss and from the movement of his arm he knew he was testing gradually while Sansa was bucking up against him. 

"Alright?" 

"Y-yes-- _Oh. Oh J-Jaime,"_ she panted and Jon was the burning man once more. 

_Walk away._

_Walk away now._

But his feet stayed rooted to the spot as he watched the Kingslayer fuck her with his fingers, probably starting with one, then if she was wet enough and ready, add another, and maybe one more but always slowly, gently, until she asks for more while his thumb likely stroked her nub.

 _"Fuck,_ you're wet, my sweet," Jaime groaned as well and Jon knew he was shaking now. 

"Wet and tight," he kissed her brow. 

"Ungh, J-Jaime, is, is that gods, good?" she panted. 

Jaime kissed her lips then. "Perfection." 

Sansa moaned again, her breath coming shorter and shorter while he saw Jaime's hand speeding up. 

"I can feel you clenching on my fingers...you're so close, my sweet girl, so close," he encouraged. 

Sansa's head was thrown back, while her mouth parted, her hands clutching Jaime's arm and back, her nails digging in. "Something's-something's happening - Jaime."

"Shh, shh, my beautiful girl. Let it happen. I'll take care of you, I promise. Sansa, let  _go,"_ he practically growled. 

And to Jon's complete nightmare, he watched as Sansa's back arched, her skin flushed, her arms clinging to another man's body like vines, while her mouth was buried in that other man's shoulder in an attempt to muffle her cry of pleasure as she peaked but he heard her loud and clear still. 

And Jon has never before seen anything as beautiful as Sansa come undone but also nothing as painful to see and hear her come with another man's name on her lips. 

_"Jai-me!"_

Sansa collapsed back down on the mattress, boneless, and out of breath, a sheen of perspiration on her flushed skin, eyes shut while her arms were thrown back on either side of her head. 

The Kingslayer smiled smugly then, lying down on his side as he watched her catch her breath. 

And finally Sansa's blue eye peeked out as she turned her head to face Jaime.

Jaime kissed her brow. "Was that alright?"

Sansa looked away then and wept in answer while Jaime looked at her sadly in understanding. 

"Thank you," Sansa said chokingly. 

Jaime tsked then and leant down, looking at her ready to scold. "No, Sansa. Thank  _you."_

She looked at him confused then. "Why are you thanking me?" she asked in between pants. "You haven't-" she stopped shy once more. 

Jaime smirked. "This night is all about you, Sansa. Do not worry about lil ol me." 

"But-"

He shushed her by bringing his fingers to his mouth and sucking, making Sansa breathe in sharply.

"See? In the end, I still got to taste you and you sweet girl?  _Perfection,"_ he licked his lips before returning his fingers back to his mouth. 

Jon could see Sansa's eyes clouding with desire once more and watched as she pushed herself up with her elbows and moved to kiss Jaime. 

Hard.

Fast.

Jaime groaned then and helped Sansa straddle him as they kissed languidly. He watched as Jaime sat up straight bringing their bodies flushed against each other, their mouths never leaving the each other too long. 

Sansa didn't mean to press down on his lap but when she did, Jaime groaned and Sansa pulled away and examined him and as if enlightened she pushed down again and rubbed, earning a curse from Jaime that made her smirk. 

She was a quick study, it seemed as she started grinding onto him while she kissed him fiercely and Jon was all but mad at this point. 

Jaime encouraged her, talking to her again, grinning when Sansa moved his head to mouth at her breast again over the shift, bringing her to her second peak within moments. 

Sansa collapsed once more against his chest and Jaime stroked her hair and back as he received her weight. Laying back down so she was fully on top of him then drawing the furs over their bodies while the woman Jon loved, draped loosely, catching her bearings over a man that wasn't him. 

"I don't think I'll tire of seeing this. Sansa you are truly a vision when you come."

"If this can be as good as this, how can I survive when - " she stopped again while Jaime chuckled. "I believe you are capable of doing anything and everything."

Sansa moved up still panting and rested her chin on top her hands on Jaime's chest and smiled at him adoringly while Jaime smiled back just as tenderly. 

Jon watched as with that one shared look, the Kingslayer was hers. 

Completely  _hers._

 

Jaime reached up and brushed her hair off her face and stroked her face with the back of his finger. "Does my lady wish to sleep now?"

Sansa raised a brow and smirked. "I tired you out, old man?" 

Jaime wrinkled his face then and tweaked her nose earning a giggle. "I'll have you know, I've quite the stamina, young lady."

"Do you now?" 

Before Sansa could act, Jaime flipped them over and caged her face with his arms and ground his hip against hers earning another breathy moan from her. 

When Sansa opened her eyes, she met with Jaime's smirk and his own arched brow. 

Sansa wiped that smirk off his face when she pushed him back and straddled him in one fluid movement. "I want to touch you now."

Jaime looked up at her in shock before the easy playful grin was back. "Whatever you want." 

And Jon watch them kiss again and this time, he willed himself to turn around and walk away with his eyes closed.

Laughter and moans, the rustle of sheets, the creaking of the bed echoing against the walls as he started walking away, leaving his heart at the door. 

 

_"Sansa."_

_"Jaime! Y-yes."_

Jon sprinted down towards the courtyard then and swung his sword over and over until all six straw training dummies were bits and pieces, working his sword like that same night Winterfell feasted the arrival of the royal party - the feast he was forbidden to attend.

How many nights did he dream of loving her? 

How many moments in the day didn't he think of her in every decision he made?

But hate it as he might, the Kingslayer was right. 

Even if he told her he returned her feelings, nothing good would come of it. Not if they were who they were. 

So he drove his sword, over and over and over. 

Hacking away, slashing and cutting while fighting his tears, allowing himself to mourn just this night. 

But if this was the price to keep Sansa safe...and happy.

So be it.

He made his bed.

She made hers too. 

And now both of them shared it with neither of them. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I hope you enjoyed this fic as much as I had fun writing it. I love Jon Snow truly, but though I still believe in him, I'm still quite upset with his choices at the moment and I'm still holding on to him proving me wrong next season. In the interim, I want Sansa to be happy, and at the moment, I feel that Jaime is the best character to comfort her, knowing where she is coming from.
> 
> Feel free to share your thoughts! Though this is moderated, I approve both positive and negative comments, just not those that would be more of on the harassment side. There is drama in the comments section that you can avoid if you just want to say something about this story as it is. Thank you all! 
> 
> ***BEFORE YOU READ FURTHER***
> 
> The following are some points regarding the drama that surrounded this story that caused much stress across the comments section. You may SKIP this if you just came for the story. Really, SKIP it so you won't be stressed out. Just had to add this footnote for those who are curious or confused with the stuff you might read in the comments section. 
> 
> 1\. First the amendments:  
> 1.1. Original tags that were removed and replaced: CRACK, OOC, SMUT  
> 1.2. Originally posted as a multi-pair story with Jaime x Sansa and Jon x Sansa but was asked to untag Jonsa, but placed back  
> 1.3. Edited all notes so you won't have to see my long explanations that I never thought to have the need to place as a defense and decided that yes, I really don't have to explain myself, so yeah.  
> 1.4. Originally, comments weren't moderated. This was the first story I'd had to moderate, not because I want to keep out the negative comments, but so I could monitor harassment more for the other readers than for myself. As I've always encouraged, just as I'm free to write my story how I want it, I have always been aware that by leaving it unmoderated, I would be inviting open discussion with hopes that all opinions/suggestions would be directed to the story and not on the human dignity of the other readers and yes, maybe even myself as the author, AS the author of this story and not touch much on my personal choices, lifestyle, etc. 
> 
> 2\. Okay now the technical stuff's done, I'm going to try to relay what went on the comments section.
> 
> It started when I was asked to remove this story from the Jon Snow/Sansa Stark relationship tag for, as I gathered and you can check them out on the comments section if you want to see the content in full:  
> 1) 'Punishing' Jon Snow for his 'pragmatic decision' as well as for 'just bedding his aunt'. It was 'unnecessarily cruel'. Why the need for the 'Jon bashing' stories  
> 2) Readers are tired of having to read Jon/angst post S7 and reading 'Sansa revenge stories' with not just Jaime but with Dickon and any other non-Jon pairings. They want to read more fluffy Jonsa endgame. It's not 'fair' to read stories like this even if tagged crack as it is a 'disservice' to the Jonsa ship.  
> 3) Questioned how this could be written by a Jonsa shipper as there was 'nothing Jonsa' about this story. Though I think it meant that it wasn't Jonsa because 'they didn't end up together here or have any resolution of their feelings'  
> 4) And as it was pointed out, 'unrequited feelings' or 'pining' doesn't 'count' for the relationship tag  
> 5) It 'doesn't matter' if I tagged this as 'CRACK' because reading about this story in the 'Sansa Stark' and 'Jonsa tag' or even the 'Jaime tag' is apparently still taken seriously and a disservice.  
> I won't comment on those reasons any more because I know where I went wrong and where I was justified. Hence the now final tags and summaries. You guys can judge for yourself if the above reasons are valid or not. 
> 
> 3\. I'm not much of a fighter and am more of an advocate for diplomacy. I don't like moderating comments but I only acquiesced because it was encroaching harassment level but even after some concessions, the unhealthy discussions were continuing. I was forced to speak up because though I don't mind mudslinging against me, I mind it very much when other people are dragged wrongly into my own conflict - BOTH ways. I did my best not to take sides and did my best to keep the peace. So I entered into discussion with both my defenders and my retractors. So I've kept ALL the comments before I started the moderation, all the good and the bad. And let you read all the discussions and I'll leave everything up to God and you. 
> 
> I could just delete the story, delete the comments, or ignore everything all together. But sometimes, censure is counterproductive, and my best attempt to settle this is diplomacy. Whether it worked or not, I tried. 
> 
> Also, thank you so so much to all the wonderful people who spoke up for me when I couldn't and encouraged me to stand up for myself while letting me do what I thought was best. I love you all you know who you are! 
> 
> That's all. 
> 
> Have a wonderful day! :)


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